Ain’t no two ways about it. I am stubborn. If you don’t believe me, ask my wife. I believe that something is one way or remember it a certain way, sometimes it takes a lot of convincing before I will stop and reexamine my position. That does not mean that I am right or wrong. It just means I am stubborn. It often boils down to time. It takes time to reevaluate one’s position. It requires research. It requires self-examination and reflection. All too often, I feel I don’t have that luxury. But is that really pragmatic and should the relevance of whatever I am questioning also play a part into how much time I spend on it? Still, I respect the opinion of others and I believe that finding time to reexamine my position is not only important but often conducive to cementing my ideas in one direction or another.

Case in point; I have I have almost finished the third movement of my first symphony. I’m very happy with it and am excited about finishing it. The other day I let my wife hear what I had written so far. She loved it. She thought it was beautiful. She loved all of it… except bars 108-116. This just happens to be one of my favorite sections. It is where I transition the melody from major to minor and I used some unique chords to provide that transition. It’s quiet but a little disconcerting to the ears. It is not dissonant. It is just not what my wife expected to hear. Her words were that it made her uncomfortable.

I don’t want this to turn into a discussion of which point of view is more important, the listener or the composer. I think they are both equally important. But the dilemma that I face is the question “If I truly believe that what I have written says exactly what I mean, should I give in to the listener to make them more comfortable?” My initial reaction is “Sometimes, music is uncomfortable” and that would be a legitimate statement. A lot of major composers write uncomfortable moments and those are usually part of a transition. In truth here, though, the music is not all about me. It’s also about the musicians and the listener. That is not me throwing in the towel, raising the white flag or surrendering my sword. It means that I respect my wife’s opinion enough that I will reexamine the passage and I will solicit additional opinions and then I will make a conscious choice as to whether to rewrite the passage or leave it as it is.

So, I am back to drawing a life lesson from my music again. If I acknowledge this stubborn streak in me in regards to my music, what about the rest of my life? The conclusion that I come to is pretty simple. If I love and respect the people around me like I say I do, then it is only proper to extend them the simple courtesy of respecting their opinions. It is not about them being right or me being wrong. It’s about respect. Sometimes, I am going to remain firmly convince that my choice is correct, but I will do it with loving consideration of those around me. Sometimes, I will have to accept the fact that I am in error and again, with loving consideration, alter my perspective. That’s just life. But it is life based on the respect of others rather than the hubris of self and I really believe that is where Christ wants me to be.